Waking up to…

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I tiptoe out into breezy seaside dawn
Away from sleeping babes who keep me up in the night
Tide has encompassed the mudflats this morn to wash the sea wall
Small barricade
Between homes and watery sheeting slickery waves
I like this tidal renewal each day
It reflects my inner tide.
Sticky eyes glad for dim cloudy light
And look there the big glowing moon setting!
Ah a moment for me
A moment to amble and awake
At my own pace
Precious
I am tentative to walk the sand
As this is crocodile land
Feeling the fear.
This has been my work these last days
The fear the scared the worried the anxious
Am I really this person?
Was I always so or has it
crept up on me?
Wow its uncomfortable to be with
Shall I cling onto the awareness too?
Or let myself move
Shall I walk in the scary place
like this fella with a net
Hoping to catch some of life’s bounty this morning
And not think only of the big teeth which could tear at any moment?
Keep walking keep moving keep feeling
Notice my numbness
Remember the choice of my focus
Watch the thoughts arise in me
Fear disguised as other things!
Sneaky how it does that!
How to integrate my inner work
and be Present with my family in each daily way
Looking for moments of solitude like this mornings wander
Making porridge and reading stories and feeling the tears within
May I be filled with grace and patience
And strength within my vulnerability.
Blessings on the day

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3 thoughts on “Waking up to…

  1. Hi Rosi, such different ends of the country we’re at. we looked at our house today with mum. still happy with it, good thing that, and looking forward to our first night there on Wed. mum’s been a packing force to be reckoned with while i cuddled a very sick nelson for 3 days. fever and horrible runny nose causing coughing and choking (not real choking). better now. mum’s going to katanning tomorrow to go home with Keith. will miss her help and company. off to bed now coz i stayed up til midnight last night reading a book in one sitting.
    love Charlotte

  2. Hmmm, I remember feeling that constant alertness when we visited last year – the survival instinct imbedded from tribal times?

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