On the Central Coast of NSW, the Bateau Bay floral reserve is delightful in spring! High above the sea the wildflowers and trees sing. I walked this track with Cedar, Lily and Jesses mama Jane in the week after our return from Europe. Walking the land and basking in the wildflowers, views, textures and scents helped me reintegrate my arrival. It’s an easy, level path, forest/scrubland walk. We walked from the Rushby street Carpark in the direction of Crack neck lookout.
Returning home and taking stock. Thanks to Pip at Meet me at Mikes for the word list.
Making :
time to stroll around outside before children wake up. counting leaves and flowers and feeling that everything is really happy I’m home
and fantasise about all the gardening I will do… I have some cheeky plants that went ballistic while I was away and still a few gaps to plant in….
Cooking : snow pea, red capsicum and pineapple sage flower salad with lemon and mandarin dressing, also young broad bean and leek sauted in lemon juice. Mmm
Drinking : mango smoothie, mangoes foraged by Jesse. What a man, he brought in about 300 mangoes last season! Now we enjoy the last frozen cheeks…
Reading: our ash grove blog, beautiful and creative and wondering how does life look homeschooling with 5 children?
Pondering: how to grow with the children and stop my default repeats.
Wanting: a massage, a shiatsu or a kahuna therapist to knock on my door right now…
Looking: at cobwebs. Lots of cobwebs. Overflowing suitcases, washing and general debris of returning home. Flowers! Lots of flowers! Also looking at some of my favourite things. Is this really my home?
Playing: a game where i am employed by this house for domestic duties and I get paid holidays and good hours… And other perks…
Wasting: time searching for cherry red flannel sheets on the internet. I know winters over right, but maybe for next year…
Sewing: lots in my imagination! Like a whole new rack of simple stylin lady fashion.
Wishing: spring was 6 months of the year, I could teleport and whistle really genuine bird calls. Not at the same time.
Enjoying: the reward of planting bulbs at Easter and seeing a bed full of freesias bursting with colour and fragrance in spring . No instant gratification involved. Patience. I think I’m growing up!
Waiting: to grow up and be more patient. To get a hold over this overactive mind. To visit my newly moved mama and papa in Tasmania!
Liking: the morning sun as I meander the gardens and check on the fruit tree buds and seedlings and the caress of the cool breeze and bird song. Spring mornings in Bellingen are delightful.
Delighting: in the wild creatures, on the night of our arrival home we are greeted by the first cicadas, the fire flies and a python on the verandah. Welcome home!
Wondering: if I will be able to do all I dream of in one day.
Loving: gathering my family for a home cooked garden dinner by candlelight, at home, at our own table for the first time in a long time. Sweet.
Hoping: the children will have a great swathe of warm memories from their time in our care.
Marvelling: that Cedar has just had his first doctor visit! I was a bit out of depth for this cut and am grateful for the medical help when needed and to Jane for holding my hand and standing up to the pushy Dr. And so grateful he has been a well boy thus far. I know dr help is a big part of some families reality and it’s fantastic when you need them and there they are!
Needing: to practice to say what I think even if it might be uncomfortable.
Smelling: something delightful on the air, floral, springy, mystery blossom.
Wearing: daggy old clothes and feeling ok about that.
Following: my own adventures on my own blog. Now that’s good for perspective!
Noticing: sometimes I write something I’m proud of. Sometimes I take a photograph I’m proud of!
Knowing: I need to practice believing in my gifts and talents.
Thinking: about the simple gift of a safe home to go back to and all the people who don’t have one right now.
Feeling: a bit helpless to make a difference right now on a global scale and remembering to practice peace at home.
Bookmarking: hmm. Any suggestions?
Opening: an illustrated envelope, with a handwritten card containing old photos of myself and friends from another life, a gift from a dear friend today to make me smile!
Giggling: at the sweetness of being seventeen.
Feeling: incredulous that it’s only 6 years til I have my own sweet seventeen year old child!
Quoting: family life is like music, some high notes, some low notes, but all together a sweet melody.
All photos from my springy garden! I didn’t shoot the crazy bits.
This fellows shirt said it for me!(apologies I don’t remember your name….if ever you see this post, email me!)
It’s taken me a while to pull this story together because some days are painful and ugly and Who wants to hear about that right?. Even when I awoke that day determined to be optimistic and cruisy, my effort does not stand up to the challenges of the day. A story about needing to go left. When the small things in life are not going right! And trying to maintain humour and gentleness amidst trials. The blessing is that all things pass and I’ve learnt to just hang in there, do what I can, drop what I can and tomorrow is new.
Many days ago now, We left Switzerland on another stinking hot day. Paused in Basel to busk (unsuccessfully), parking was very hard to find but we ended up near the river so kids and I could swim, by stalking a shady parking spot . The water was gratefully crisp enough! I heard later that even 15 years ago the Rhine was too polluted to swim, now it’s very popular with people dipping and floating along.
We where right by the historic bridge which is beautiful and in the distance could spot the spires of the cathedral and old city. It was strange to be looking at buildings with barely a gap between, facing the rivers edge. I guess the parks are elsewhere. I really wanted to go to the old Paper Mill museum but it was just too hot to walk around. I felt thwarted in my educational efforts and bizarre to come all this way and not be able to do more than keep sane and do nothing really. Have I mentioned yet my family calls me a grumpy polar bear when it’s hot? Hot hot. Im not averse to a bit of whinging about the heat… Really it’s such middle class western luxury to have the options we do and I’m very grateful.
We pulled into Freiburg late that evening after a disappointing detour past Bad Bellingen (should’ve realised by the name!) bad means bath in German. I was hoping for some natural place to bathe but it’s a turquoise pool set up. There’s a lot more happening in the Australian Bellingen! Lovely in winter I guess.
Anyway, disorganised, tired and hot, past dinner time, we got busted for jumping on the tram without tickets! We didn’t want to miss it and wait longer to get to some dinner! They showed us how to function the in tram ticket machine and let us off thankfully! Ignorant travellers I guess. I get anxious in the face of authority and doing something wrong!
A treat to eat out in the old city. Mexican in Germany? Freiburg has a very pretty inner city and good vibes in the evening, lots of people about and delicious foodie smells.
Back to our hot van late to get some rest. Camping in a hot tin can is so difficult!Especially with tired hot kids in the city which does not cool down til dawn. Jesse saved the day by putting their bed outside under a tree and sleeping with them. We found a mobile home campground for 9euro a night near Bissier strasse park and ride. Cheap but noisy from the railway. Thank goodness for earplugs. The next night was more pleasant at the Hirzberg Campground. It’s 1.2km from the enchanting old City centre. Also green and shady. It can be really tricky coming to a place you don’t know and looking for a place to stay. I ignored my intuition about going straight to the campground the first night unfortunately.
The next day we met with friends who guided us to nearby lakes and the day was easier. There are a lot of man made lakes along the autobahns, dug out to make the road beds. Another late hot night in the city. Jesse Was busking and we walked in to meet him for dinner. Some moments I am thinking wow this is crazy! Cosmopolitan culture in Europe, dinner at 9 pm and some crazy gigantic ice cream and berry dessert! strolling old cities (600+ year old buildings) balmy summer nights, wonderful and romantic and different if only my inner mama voice could be quiet! My kids where in bed at a wholesome 7.30pm before we left Australia! This life has such diverse moments. It’s challenging and reallY good also to let the restrictions drop a bit. ItS so temporary. Soon we will be back in home rhythms. I have little resilience for lack of sleep unfortunately. Blessings come though in the form of kind hearted folks and hilarious storytellers in the dark city streets.
From Freiburg we are invited to go berry picking and then swimming in a forest lake higher in the Black Forest mountains.
Yes please. My days in the city where hot and bothered and I was stretched to breaking. But I hung in there! Not too many tears! Me, not the kids…. But As lily says, ‘it’s not really a holiday because we are doing everyday life. And why can’t we do more holidayish things anyway?’ Memory making.
My spirit was so renewed by this afternoon tramping the woods and having the warmth of friends. Being outside is my greatest gift at present. Soaking in the different greens of the broad leafed woods and the unfamiliar bird calls and wind whispers and rock songs. It’s fresh and new still and the foreignness leaves me a little thrilled. I really am far far from home. If you have read Ronja by Astrid Lindgren you would see the grey dwarf holes in this wood and Ronja running about and giving her spring yell.
this handy little rake catches the blueberries for you, but be careful you don’t strip the leaves off also. 
I loved this moment! The papas with their matching picnic baskets! Beautiful masculinity in motion
Cedar said he could stay here forever, well, until it snowed…
There where few berries left and small this season, despite that, the reward of gathering something deliciously tart and sweet from the woods filled me with happiness. It’s so simple. 
Tiny finger staining treasures. A worthy hunt! I hear the wild blueberries in the US are enormous! I would like to experience picking there one day…
The lake water is stained amber by leaves and tannins I guess. The trees surrounding shade the water green. Be brave it’s very cold below the surface! The skin feels soft and wonderful after swimming here.
I was excited to see this small orchid growing in the ditch as we left the forest. Another tiny wonder.
And thanks goodness we where off to visit dear friends after this. The last challenge of travelling in the unknown was done and from here on we are sheltered by good friends until we fly home. Phew. We did it.
Now on this day we celebrate your day of birth
And we wish you a good and happy life on earth!
(Alternative birthday ditty) 
The traditional pancake breakfast substitutes for a cake when we are camping. Lush toppings, fresh berries, cream, yoghurt and maple syrup. I eat renegade savoury pancakes first, gruyere cheese and pesto.
Craved farm animals from Werner reifentiere. Found at Pastorini in Zurich. 
Up up up on the cable car from Falkenberg to Oeschin. Summer tobogganing. 
The ausblick/outlook is enthralling. 
Postcard moments. Oeschinersee. The lake is turquoise. Crispy clear and cold, it is fed by the snow melt and glaciers. 
I am enchanted by the alpine flowers and the children hunt out wild strawberries and raspberries. It keeps them busy and happy for an hour and I can soak up the incredible environment at 1500 or so metres above sea level. We are blessed with mostly sunshine and wonderful cloud pictures being sucked on by the peaks. 
Another gift was a junior Opinel whittling knife . The end is round so not quite as perilous but just as sharp. There are sticks of softest pine to be found in the woods. 
This fellow hiked up with his alphorn! I opened conversation as we had all been guessing what was in his pack, and he willingly took it out and played for Us some folk tunes. The harmonic singing of the horn was beautiful to me. It seemed so fitting in this environment. I couldn’t have imagined a better spot to hear it for the first time since childhood. The sound carried across the water and the long tones needed the space. Magic. 
There are many carving and sculptures along the lakeside path. Cedar played his own little birthday Sansula and enchanted us. 
The folk art and carvings on the buildings continuously impress me in Switzerland. I have been guessing they are winter arts to keep hands creative when indoors for much of the year. Strong traditions. The little model house had a barn full of cows like Cedars birthday cow Tulip.
Jesse dared to leave the signed pathway (incredibly practical signs for Wanderweg/walkway with distances and times, everywhere in Switzerland. I love the walking culture. This has been a focus of our trip) and despite our resistance ( I’m imagining lost on the mountain in the dark with hungry tired little people) found us a gorgeous place to have a fire for our traditional Swiss sausage roasting.
Who loves chocolate and hazelnuts in fire cooked banana s? Have you tried this? Wait until you have a bed of embers then lay upon it bananas with their side split and chocolate stuffed in. Yum. 
Walking down the mountain is not always easier! I think the grade was about 16%. Sore knees and ankles.
So happy to get to the playground at the bottom! We walked back to camp at 9 pm via the restaurant for slices of cake and warm milks. I took candles and we had a mini birthday celebration there. A super special family day! Hooray Cedar!
To you we sing
And happiness we bring
To celebrate your birth
An angel here on earth.
Thanks to friends for this song
A moment captured. Beauty.
Sometimes a photo is the only way to really see these wriggly little peoples faces! Who is this shining being smiling so contentedly? Like a happy cat I imagine he purrs. Warming himself on papas comfy back.
We spent this day at Türler See(a lake is a see) in the near from Zurich ( more Denglish). We made a jetty our home for the afternoon. The forest behind us, the green water and hills framed by reeds. When I swam far into the lake and spun around I was overjoyed with the beauty surrounding me. So much of my stress and my worries dissolved in the moment. This gift from nature offered freely to us. Serenity in nature. My place of worship. The water a soothing balm. A moment. A much needed moment.
Lily wove up minute armbands from the reeds. Her nimble fingers astound me! I am so happy that from my coconut weaving she has absorbed this method and can apply it to other materials so easily. Lily had her 11 th birthday this week, I’m so full of love and wonder for this delightful child! Lucky me. Sure we have our challenges together, but more and more as this trip extends I see Lily cleared from the tiredness and influences of school and peers and see her nature shinig through. I credit her resilience to handle the adventuring lifestyle as I know for myself it’s not an easy path yet it has many rewards.
We had read recently, The Golden Goblet, as part of our Ancient Egyptian curriculum and spoke about the reeds along the Nile and the character Ranofer and his friend in the reeds and how the reeds squeak and rustle. Read it. Reed it. What did the frog say in the library? Read it read it read it….
One of these perfect dragonflies landed on my leg, oh lucky me I thought, surely a blessing. Then it bit me! Haha. Did you know they bite? Beware the vicious Swiss dragonflies!
Jesse and I were able to read a lot. We later spoke about how reading is an escape from the moment. It disconnects you from the moment, I looked at where I was and my family and saw I didn’t want to be disconnected, but I enjoyed the distraction as I was so tired this day, sometimes reading is sleeping with eyes open. I read so little now compared to having the reputation as a book eater years ago, Jesse rarely reads also and I gave thanks that he is so available and present usually. Luckily Lily and Cedar where very occupied and happy playing and making boats from sticks and string so we could tune out. 
My loyal servants. My feet. How did we get here?
Cedar is gaining confidence in so many things, especially the water. I only thought to give him floaties (water wings) on this trip at my cousins suggestion. It really suits him to feel safe in the water and he’s finally getting wet!
On the opposite side of the lake from the “paying a small fortune to swim” section you can find beautiful quiet places to bathe for free!
~
death come by me swift
i am stilled by crimson blood
and kiss her wet cheeks
~
om mane padme hum
this moment
a friday ritual
one photograph from my week
blessings
we seek a new adventure in the West country 200km from Cairns, some warm and dry and open bush. dry out our lungs and explore the limestone caves in the Chillagoe Mungana national park.
Remembering Chillagoe region, inland, tablelands, North Queensland; August 2013
castles of stone
caves, crevices, dust, marble bones
choking dust
bleak heat
dreamtime vista
turquoise mineral spring bathing sancturary
there are long bumpy stretches of dirt road which we have to take at 10-20km an hour as we are heavily loaded with extra timber, 100lt water and 80 ltr of fuel, never mind the brain splitting rattling of our 4 tonne home… it’s torturous for me as driver on this hot hot day, and i rage internally {and a little externally} and finally retreat to the bed with sunglasses on as Jesse takes over the wheel. it is my least favorite endurance of this adventurous life. hot travel with no swimming respite in sight, cranky tired hot and bothered children… {be forewarned, i am going to bang on alot about how hot this trip was!}
gathering firewood roadside on the trip in. I am stunned by the dry midday heat, the starkness of sky and and bleached colors after weeks in the lush coastal regions. it is familiar from my childhood in WA and a little part of me also relishes the crackle of crisped leaves and bark underfoot and the open bush and ant trails. epic sky and thin shade kissed by eucalypt breeze
we fill the floor space with perfect dry hardwood for campfires, it’s awkward sweaty hauling but we focus on the enjoyment of fire gazing and cooking. Jesse finds some perfect straight Mulga for making rhythm sticks.
and then we are arriving into tiny Chillagoe township looking for the Eco Lodge as we hear it boasts a small observatory and resident astronomer {part of our attraction to come to this open sky country} a population of about 250. with fluctuating tourism nodded to by the 4 campgrounds. there is a more private camp ground on a property right on the creek near the airport, but the caretaker is ill.
we are simply heat shocked and wondering what the hell we are doing here!
im ecstatic to here there’s a swimming hole near town.
turns out to be a lovely shady deep spring fed hole. phew. everyone is refreshed quickly and it all seems worthwhile and copeable. is that a word? the rocks are amazing!
the swimming hole becomes our base for half of each day we spend in the area. i sit by the water and understand how the indigenous mob survived out here, in the shade by water is the only place to be in a lot of Australia on the hot days. if there’s water…
we visit some caves and do some short walks. we skip the guided tours in to the deeper caves. {i’m quietly glad the children give me the excuse for this as it frightens me just a little} finding ourselves alone in some huge caverns, sitting on besmoothed stones and watching captured sunlight glittering the dust moats is surprising and awe-some. singing and didging and echoing in the tumbled caves, it’s good to be together in a cave. a new experience.
the rock formations and the self guided caves are striking enough to fulfill our rocky quest.
i awake on the second day better adapted to the climate and find gradually heating with the rising sun easier than driving into the hot midday from the coast.
we monkey around at the old train station near the campground in the twilight. there are great mobs of wallabies. this was a rare campground stay. we usually find independant camping or stay on properties. we want to experience the astronomy session in the evening however, and it’s simply so appealing to have access to water. we claim the little patch of grass out the front of the Eco lodge. Cedar declares the sprinkler his truck wash.
the session at the observatory is inspirational and full of facts and numbers and anecdotes. i saw Saturn and it’s rings! and two of it’s twenty something moons! it really does look like those funny colour drawings from school books! it sparks many wonder-full conversations about life, other life, gallaxies, stars, moons, space travel, wonderment, constellations, feeling small, feeling big, feeling like a speck, how time and space move and are measured….
Have you ever roasted a whole pumpkin in the coals?
before you go to bed, make a nest in the coals and ashes and plop in a really great pumpkin; cover it with a good blanket of ash and coals and you’re all ready for bed; uncover your golden treasure in the morning! we used a Japanese variety here; the more ripe and good your pumpkin the better caramelized result you will have!
Enjoy your roast pumpkin in many attitudes; here a savory delight but previously it’s been breakfast on pancakes with maple syrup and cream! decadence!
and here is a proof I’m not some super unrealistic lady who can’t do wrong. {just in case anyone wondered; as Jesse pointed out it’s easy to falsely represent myself here on an edited blog} burnt food is one of my occasional talents! i am a bit dreamy{creative} at times and become absorbed in other activities, than watching the meal cook!! oops. still good. just cut off the charcoal…. I have been banned from using the toaster and cooking rice in a previous life…
Lily spent the first morning engaged in making a flower fairy palace from bark, sticks, marble chunks and flowers. unfortunately she built her house on the sand {the mat} and it had to go down with the packup tide. rebuilt in the bushes and a learning about how to choose a safe site to build…
our last night, we left the township of Chillagoe and visited a more secluded cave with relatively intact Indigenous paintings. The energy of this place was strong and beautiful. We spent the afternoon and gloaming in the cave watching the changing light and dreaming of life as a tribe in the caves, in this remarkable landscape.
Discussing how and where and what and why was a rich experience. The children chose their rock beds and imagined where the fire was and how we would use the cave and how many people would share it and so on. I realised how little i know of the nomadic tribal culture in Australia, how disconnected i feel at times from the cultural history of this land I was born in. Sadness arising for what is lost now. the questions i’ll never know answers to. noticing the discomfort i can experience when I am in company of people of culture because i don’t have many reference points. and ultimately I’m a white fella and there is a massive burden of racism and tragedy between us. at other times it just naturally is and I’m connecting with ease and humour. often the children break the ice and connecting through play is a gift.
the open verandah effect of the cave creates an empowering view over vast land. a safe standpoint.
i awoke to didgeridoo echoes across the land from the cave above at sunrise. when i return from my solo adventure to the cave i am met by singing and music. thankyou Jesse you bring melody to my life.
there are many old marble quarries in the Chillagoe area. many massive blocks have been lifted out and left on the red dust like a giant’s play blocks. We stop at one of the quarries on the way back East. {some conspiracy about bleeding away private money…} we met an epic conspir-ollogist our here! wowzers.
the bush is open with tall ironbarks and malga among the trees. their thin canopy offers little shade in the oven hot morning. with termite mounds being the bush furniture. the spindly crisp grasses remind me of country up near Katherine and Darwin.
quirky old machine installations 
i certainly left with a puzzled feeling from Chillagoe, its been great to reflect on it from my midnight table here in Bellingen.
i hope you enjoyed the story and the photographs.
Roselinde
today Some solo moments by a silver shiny sea
reveal an expression of self inquiry
i want to hear the truth within me
Beyond the babblings of this mind and fear
There lies the knowing and clarity
in a stillness i cannot force
if only i can move aside
To allow this space for it to arise
To put my ponderings down to rest
To connect with the heart of it
I am fearful, I see this
remind me, my soul is steady despite the outer bombardment
The path ahead is divided and I must choose a way once more
Please instinct please knowingness please wise owl
turn up the volume, allow me to hear
in this moment I have forgotten how
Bruny Island adventures
a long story with lots of photographs
It begins with
crankiness along the coast
tired and tetchy
itchy and scratchy
we are at a frictious all time low {i think that every time we hit the downside of our cycle}
finally a camp at the neck campground and some play
i remember to bring out the watercolour paints and pencils
Jesse remembers to play music
(note the kids cubby next door)
which i tried to help with by request and ended up being screamed at
tempers are frayed these days
but Lily finds meditation in making a bush home for Cedar’s leopard
we look for penguins late into the night
and are just cold and disappointed
{take a red light torch and lots of warm clothes, a flask of hot tea and make everyone be silent or the penguins will wait until the noisy crowd gives up and not come to everyone else leaves! making their young wait hours while they wait in the water until it’s safe}
adventure bay offers us a little respite simply by being beautiful and we split up and take a child each and some space
but things are stilted and we are not flowing together
even filling our water tank becomes an issue
i am reminded that despite external surroundings it is one’s inner state which dictates one’s happiness
and that when one is happy one doesn’t mind so much where one is!
i start to pray
help us find a safe place to unfold
find a friend for Lily
find a supportive friend for Jesse
find me a hot shower and some nurturing
and then
like a mirage is Michael running down the road
ask and ye shall receive
oh thankyou!
Michaels blue bush palace has evidence of his seabound joy everywhere
boats, diving gear, surfboards, fishing tackle, shells, paddles, wetsuits, seaweed…..
He and Jesse met nearly 15 years ago and he generously invites us to stay a night
{which becomes two}
he has an abundant garden including a hothouse for the cold season
and thrives on this and seafood of all varieties
he collects and dries his own wild seaweed for added nutrition!
Michael shares his warm heart and uplifting life values so openly
we can’t help but ease open too.
Lily and his son Brody become instant mates and Cedar is happy playing with his tonka truck
or shovelling sand
I luxuriate in a long hot riverwater shower…
We are blown away to have abalone prepared for us {me first time! ahhhh yum}
though at first i can’t believe these yucky slimy mess are so coveted
the bounty of Michael and Flo’s {current French WWOOFer} recent dive
prepared with Michaels incredible {unusual} experienced process
{not what they do in restaurents}
we are soon feasting
Cedar decides to eat nothing else!
luxury tender surprising salty deliciousness!
i cant quite fathom we are eating about $300 worth of abalone!
Jesse and I look at each other and wonder how we got here?
while the men are cooking I wander about photographing the property
it is all blue, light, timber trims, glass and mirrors
a lush oasis on Bruny island
and then morning and Michael shares his passion for surfing with us
his clear enthusiasm is infectious and transparent
we meet the only other family on the beach on holiday from Sydney and wishing they lived here
i am fascinated by his {holiday fellow} hollow wooden surfboard, a beautiful play thing
Lily gets her first wave! she is helped up to standing and then pushed off to ride to shore again and again
she is totally high
and freezing
while the others are in the icy seaweedy water {swim anyone?}
i play ashore with Cedar
and engage myself with unknotting a 15m tangle of kelp I love this giant sea tree
i slice some of the new growth to take home and dry
to add to soups
next is our beach drive tour of Cloudy bay
ending with a paradisical swim in the pristine turquoise calm side of the bay
the land is a stunning contrast of sea sky and forest
it feels untouched and still enchanted here and i am deeply touched by the peace and bounty of this area
the children slide down a massive sand dune endlessly
Jesse and I swim and chase
while Michael catches up on some internet work
{and if y’all get over there quick you too can meet Michael at the awesome festival which he organizes!}
what a beautiful friend living an incredible lifestyle
I am so inspired by this man who is living his bliss
sharing his bliss
caring for and inspiring others
Thankyou for welcoming us in and encouraging the joy back into our hearts
so a long story that started painfully, had a happy ending
and the finale was sailing the bus and eating a pile of fresh baguettes and cheese…
sometimes i feel like the luckiest woman
RosaLindenTree 