our honored guest has been with us nearly two weeks

he/she hovers, drapes, naps, meditates by the bunny cage

{a friendly python so don’t worry about us}

bunny naps on the other side and carries on its inconsequential activities

is bunny aware that death is about?

does it remember being saved from snakes embrace before?

is it longing for release from this world?

would it return for another round of the karmic wheel?

is it comfortable and accepting with that which is inevitable?

are you?

am i?

tonight in the boom crash and heavy tinkle of the storm

i let myself see some great fear and panic regarding death

stay away from me and mine!

impossible, but thats what i cry for

i feel it in my chest like the impact of a fist

in these moments

i am clinging to this life and the tangible forms of my beloved ones

and all that is perceived by my senses

i am cultivating dreams and ideas and cherishing hope for the future

i am nurturing relationships and gardens and love

i am struggling through the quagmire of some days and challenges

i am pursuing myself in the interest of growth and understanding

i want to be here and sit and knit and contemplate

i am afraid of the unknown yet

i do have faith in a greater force

but i simply don’t know what comes after

i haven’t been there yet or i don’t remember

and as Lily said to me on wondering what it is like to die

“…then i won’t know, because i’ll be gone and it won’t matter”

how about me?

how about you?

**

{later on this day i passed two severe car accidents on my trip to town

and i was given a worldly reflection of my thoughts}

blessings to those who are grieving right now

**