Our Easter in Autumn Story

IMG_0703 on Easter eve we are visiting friends on the journey north from Sydney. The children go out in the sunset pink to cut grass to line the easter basket and to feed the Easter hare
IMG_0710 while they cut I retell an Easter story about the journey of the Easter hare and the purpose of the eggs as i have adopted it from this great book. Easter in Autumn. i deeply enjoy storytelling without a book in front of me as i took the time to learn the story and make it my own. They are both captivated and i feel peaceful with this serene wash of calm coming over me as i bask in the moment and the beauty of the simple now-ness and connection we are sharing. i am inspired to learn more stories to tell.
IMG_0713this basket was woven in Arnhem land, jesse gifted it to Lily on return of his trip there last year. {i got a lady version for my birthday}IMG_0714the light is soft and pastelly and embracing and look below, it hints to the sky of the dawn…IMG_0723Lily and I have made a date to silently watch the sunrise on Easter morn.

we are camped by a river and the light bounces from the water in a myriad of pastel delicacies..IMG_0725Pelicans join us and we are gifted this close observation of a much loved birdIMG_0730 IMG_0747Lily points out the Pelican has made a heart with it’s own reflectionIMG_0748 i resolve to make more dates with Lily, the peace of simply being together touches us both deeply. It is grounding and loving and sets us up for a rich connection through the day.
IMG_0749 IMG_0758 finally a golden peep through the clouds melts the dew from waxy leaves

a new day

a new beginningIMG_0759 as we walk back we pick golden sunny flowers to decorate the bus and the easter baskets, glistening with dew

Cedar and Jesse are awake and after the children exclaim over the gifts from the Easter hare in their baskets, they go outside with a poem of clues to find the Easter treasures
IMG_0775 oh whats under here??

skip to a quick ant bite interlude….

then the treasure hunt is back on….
IMG_0779 IMG_0786looking looking looking, Lily can see the silver paper on the tyre and is encouraging Cedar to find it and giggling about his looking but not seeing… i remember Lily at this age needing very obvious eye level treasures to find… IMG_0787 I found it!!
IMG_0790 and up here Cedar!

i am wondrous to see Lily turn the seeking into a game for Cedar in which she is showing and helping him in a thoughtful way, instead of rushing around claiming all the treasure. it reveals the change out of early childhood i am seeing into a less selfconcerned world view. beautiful.IMG_0798the treasure is in and unwrapped and eaten.

after struggling in the night with my staunch anti chocolate stance, i realise the experience of my uptight stress is less beautiful than the joy the children will have when unwrapping 2 squares of organic chocolate before breakfast!

and it was fine, and they were so happy, and they did not have sugar meltdowns!

it’s good to let go a little now and then. but yes i am pretty strict about sweets in our own home and prefer to savour these type of treats for specials.

later in the day we prepare eggs to decorate and enjoy an omelette for lunch

you may know how already but here

  the simple steps to blow eggs ready for decoration and hanging
IMG_0803use a large pin to pierce one end of an egg, i use a series of punctures in close proximity to open a 2mm hole, repeat on the opposite end and remember to have a bowl ready to catch your egg insides {make an omelette or cake…}IMG_0805apply your lips and lungs to the task of blowing a stream of egg insides to the outside. rinse by submersing in water and blowing out once more. towel dry and there they are, light and ready to decorate. we often use water colour pencils or paints, or dye with onion skin…IMG_0808in the weeks coming up to Easter i scout around town for white shelled eggs.. {In Bellingen they are sold at the Providore from a local farmer….} this year we had little choice as we travelled…IMG_0809the easter bounty which the children are happy happy happy withIMG_0814during our afternoon drive i watch Lily singing out the window like a puppy with her face in the wind…

i imagine her reflecting on the day and she is singing her happiness to the world…

some sweet sweet moments in our day

blessings and happy new beginning to us all…

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Bruny Island bliss

Bruny Island adventures

a long story with lots of photographs

It begins with

crankiness along the coast

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tired and tetchy

itchy and scratchy

we are at a frictious all time low {i think that every time we hit the downside of our cycle}

finally a camp at the neck campground and some play

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i remember to bring out the watercolour paints and pencils

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Jesse remembers to play music

(note the kids cubby next door)

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which i tried to help with by request and ended up being screamed at

tempers are frayed these days

but Lily finds meditation in making a bush home for Cedar’s leopard

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we look for penguins late into the night

and are just cold and disappointed

{take a red light torch and lots of warm clothes, a flask of hot tea and make everyone be silent or the penguins will wait until the noisy crowd gives up and not come to everyone else leaves! making their young wait hours while they wait in the water until it’s safe}

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adventure bay offers us a little respite simply by being beautiful and we split up and take a child each and some space

but things are stilted and we are not flowing together

even filling our water tank becomes an issue

i am reminded that despite external surroundings it is one’s inner state which dictates one’s happiness

and that when one is happy one doesn’t mind so much where one is!

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i start to pray

help us find a safe place to unfold

find a friend for Lily

find a supportive friend for Jesse

find me a hot shower and some nurturing

and then

like a mirage is Michael running down the road

ask and ye shall receive

oh thankyou!

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Michaels blue bush palace has evidence of his seabound joy everywhere

boats, diving gear, surfboards, fishing tackle, shells, paddles, wetsuits, seaweed…..

He and Jesse met nearly 15 years ago and he generously invites us to stay a night

{which becomes two}

he has an abundant garden including a hothouse for the cold season

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and thrives on this and seafood of all varieties

he collects and dries his own wild seaweed for added nutrition!

Michael shares his warm heart and uplifting life values so openly

we can’t help but ease open too.

Lily and his son Brody become instant mates and Cedar is happy playing with his tonka truck

or shovelling sand

I luxuriate in a long hot riverwater shower…

We are blown away to have abalone prepared for us {me first time! ahhhh yum}

though at first i can’t believe these yucky slimy mess are so coveted

the bounty of Michael and Flo’s {current French WWOOFer}  recent dive

prepared with Michaels incredible {unusual} experienced process

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{not what they do in restaurents}

we are soon feasting

Cedar decides to eat nothing else!

luxury tender surprising salty deliciousness!

i cant quite fathom we are eating about $300 worth of abalone!

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Jesse and I look at each other and wonder how we got here?

while the men are cooking I wander about photographing the property

it is all blue, light, timber trims, glass and mirrors

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a lush oasis on Bruny island

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and then morning and Michael shares his passion for surfing with us

his clear enthusiasm is infectious and transparent

we meet the only other family on the beach on holiday from Sydney and wishing they lived here

i am fascinated by his {holiday fellow} hollow wooden surfboard, a beautiful play thing

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Lily gets her first wave! she is helped up to standing and then pushed off to ride to shore again and again

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she is totally high

and freezing

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while the others are in the icy seaweedy water {swim anyone?}

i play ashore with Cedar

and engage myself with unknotting a 15m tangle of kelp I love this giant sea tree

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i slice some of the new growth to take home and dry

to add to soups

next is our beach drive tour of Cloudy bay

ending with a paradisical swim in the pristine turquoise calm side of the bay

the land is a stunning contrast of sea sky and forest

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it feels untouched and still enchanted here and i am deeply touched by the peace and bounty of this area

the children slide down a massive sand dune endlessly

Jesse and I swim and chase

while Michael catches up on some internet work

{and if y’all get over there quick you too can meet Michael at the awesome festival which he organizes!}

what a beautiful friend living an incredible lifestyle

I am so inspired by this man who is living his bliss

sharing his bliss

caring for and inspiring others

Thankyou for welcoming us in and encouraging the joy back into our hearts

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so a long story that started painfully, had a happy ending

and the finale was sailing the bus and eating a pile of fresh baguettes and cheese…

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sometimes i feel like the luckiest woman

Ship rock falls

After Dancing Ground
Bodies limber
And weary
After dancing and stretching
And expanding in happiness
And connection
Plans change suddenly
A double obstacle
And I am lost
Internally inflexible
The flow is gone from me
Decision becomes distant
Anxiety arises
Partnership confuses things
We argue mildly
I am tired and back in the big world after festival cosseting and catering
It’s inescapably hot
I don’t know this area or where to find a swim
It’s overwhelming as we try to lead our family with no reference point
We chase a train and find some shade
Hooray a patch of green ground
Jesse takes Cedar walking
I lay with my back on the cool earth
Old tree shade covers me
Air becomes cooler
Temper becomes cooler
Priorities become more clear
The panic abates as fast as she arose
Go gently
Transition kindly
Find water and shade and food and sweetness
Is it really so simple?
For today for me it is

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Later there is Ship Rock falls
A screaming step too close to a tiger snake who also wants the damp shade
A joyful explore of granite bouldery mossy water roaring tree ferny banksia woods with little man
A digestive coma after delicious orreciette with pesto olives salmon capers parmesano basil goat fetta more
Music echoes through the trees
I improve School Polka number 2 on the button Accordian
Children accompany
The world is right again

Later there is Kurth Kiln
rain howls and thunder blows
A safe camp to sleep in misty forest green
A playful morning
Road river races
Water churning exploring
Lily wants to eat the swollen river froth
Dripping ferns and bird songs and our songs
Cedar is the leader
Heart skipping with the scent of freshness and cool
How quickly the wheel turns
The sun rises the clouds part
Or how quickly my moods evacuate…
Hmmm

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where did she go?

Excuse me

Have you seen January?

I seem to have misplaced her

While i

Neglected the blog/boggle

Spent a lot of time in the moment

Travelled as far south as we could go

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Caught the sky from the bridge

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fished unsuccessfully

Fossicked for shellfish and feasted

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she sang

cockles and mussels alive alive oh…

Wondered about the history of the place

Now called Cockle Creek

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Abundance food and wildlife

Whispers of grand old trees

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And strong people watching

Wails of whales as they where massacred in the bay

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A sad sad history to learn about

From humorous informative rangers

Learnt about our magnificent giants of the sea

And how to rescue a beached one or many

{remember, call for help, keep warm,  don’t breath in their blowhole, pilot whales are the most commonly beached in Tasmania, put a stick in the ground infront of live ones, keep their tails to the sea until you are ready to release them all at the same time, shade them}

felt impressed that my girl has this appreciation for whales and dolphins, experience and knowledge for the rest of her life now

felt on the right path of life

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Took a classic portrait of men and bones

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had a whale of a time!

IMG_0326 three month old southern right whale lifesize sculpture!

Enjoyed the sea air and the shelter from it

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i Got cold but

Jesse finally took the plunge

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while Lily had a nature drawing sessionIMG_0341 IMG_0348

I lounged in triggerplant bliss

My head amongst a million pink helpers

the medicine of rejuvenation and restoration

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Met young old friends

And had a date up a giant tree

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Lily had a lock on

Then we

Grudgingly left

Coaxed on by a berry  good carrot

Drove north

While I processed a myriad of thoughts emotions and responses

And gave thanks for a time of respite

Amidst the chaos of full days

Mostly joyful

With berry/cherry stained lips

Noticed the tiredness.depression link

And went to bed

xxx

 

Advent adventuring inside

and then later again

making swiss biscuits on advent Sundays over the last few years has become

a simple joyful tradition for us

connecting me with my family heritage in Europe

we bake them, taste them, parcel them up pretty, then walk up the street to our nieghbours and share them

or take them to friends

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this year i have lacked any christmassy stamina until four days ago {new flower essences have supported me to shift my mind and lift my energy YAY!}

{oh gosh thank goodness what a relief because i was feeling i could not pretend and i had nothing authentic i wanted to share or celebrate

i was planning on jumping ship and avoiding the whole thing ie. go camping alone

it is revealing how low i have been feeling this last month and now i am perking up a little again and i am grateful

 and it would be a non event in our household through advent and isn’t that sad for the children {lily wants the full glitz and glimmer and festival felling}

and i honestly had only one gift and no inspiration to make any more  {lily has made a basket full and keeps asking where i am hiding mine…}

and i was wondering if that’s ok, to not give gifts and how would that feel and would i be ashamed or embarassed or would i write letters

or…  should i rush out and just buy stuff?

well, what would christmas be without the gifts, the advent rituals, the biscuits, the candles, the nativity, without Mary Joseph and a donkey walking across our house through december, without the singing and poems, the wreath, the secrecy and elving, the crafting together, the fun and wonder?

it’s great things to contemplate isn’t it? what do we give from our hearts? what do we hold in our minds and beings? what is the energy which enlivens the experience beyond the gift giving bit? do i just take it all too seriously and need to lighten up eat lots of bikkies and be silly? probably a little…

before the advent of jesus there are the festivals of the solstice and the return of the light and many other ancient traditions around the world at this time of year

in the last years i came to thinking of the birthday of jesus {who is jesus mama? a kind and good man who was a healer on earth a long time ago}

and found i could sit with the picture of the birthday of the light within me and within us all. the looking towards the goodness and love and kindness and generosity in all of us that we celebrate at christmas. and when i put that lens into my glasses, it makes sense again in a way it hasn’t since childhood.

the handmade gifting element began when i was 20 and i decided i would aim to hand make as many of my gifts as possible

they can be very humble offerings, but you know if you get one, i have thought of you as i stitched or wove or painted or preserved, i have held you in my focus and embedded my good wishes for you in this gift, i have enjoyed the making of the gift and reflecting on our relationship

there is no cold winter to bring us in to the hearth together here in the southern globe but we still gather with our families and friends inside and out at this time of year around candles and games and beaching and reading and costuming and eating and cooking together

i’m so grateful to my family of origin and my extended families for the brightness you all bring into my life and the forethought and generosity which you share with me and mine

for me once again in december i am seeking a depth of meaning in the festival/life

it doesn’t mean i am judging how you or anyone else does it

im on my personal quest to enrich the experience for me and my children

so i can cope with all the hoopla out there in the world

basler brunsli

so we have made our first batch of advent Basler Brunsli

and it was really fun even though it was on a monday…

delicious chewy almond meal, cinnamon and chocolate biscuits

this year’s recipe i am trialling can be found here

i think it was a little sticky as i used big eggs

so we waited a few hours before cutting the hearts

messy

yummy, but too sweet for me with the sugar sprinkled on top

will remember to cut down the amount inside

{my family always complains i don’t put in enough sweet}

cute huh?

lily’s teachers gifted her with the cookie cutter for a farewell gift

perfect.

wow end of class two already!

i know we spend a lot of time away from school anyway

but really that has come way too soon!

anyway enough rambling

blessings to you and yours

xx

what are you doing in preparation for christmas {if anything}?

what does it mean to you?

what stands out from your childhood christmases?

what is special to you at this time of year?

 

a little mending…

how to love mending as much as the making

i’ve been working on this and in the last weeks

gathered in the holey things and begun

wow! i’ve let them go a long time and some holes have grown noticeably

but here i go with my needle and thread and a little stillness

and a lot of enjoyment of handling these beautiful things again

and knowing i am giving them a new burst of life

Lily is not feeling well

as i wrapped her in her baby blanket {with big girl extensions}

i noticed those holes

so with children at one end and me at the other

i got to my task

feeling the texture and weight of this beautiful crotcheted blanket

how quickly it warmed my legs and memory

i was pregnant with my first big belly

traveling in a beautiful old yellow kombi van

Jesse and I on our first adventure together

i gathered yarn from my family and friends

along the way i gathered more

and as we drove often i had my basket of yarn at my feet and

this growing blanket on my growing belly

i wove into it all my wondering of who and when and how

all those pre mama feelings

who would i be bundling in this wool one day soon?

thousands of stitches thousands of kilometres and thousands of blessings.

from my reverie i glance up

and here is my daughter

bigger than ever

as i mended we talked about her birth

she and Cedar chatted and played

and i cherished this gift i made

once upon a time for a wee babe

dear bunny…

our honored guest has been with us nearly two weeks

he/she hovers, drapes, naps, meditates by the bunny cage

{a friendly python so don’t worry about us}

bunny naps on the other side and carries on its inconsequential activities

is bunny aware that death is about?

does it remember being saved from snakes embrace before?

is it longing for release from this world?

would it return for another round of the karmic wheel?

is it comfortable and accepting with that which is inevitable?

are you?

am i?

tonight in the boom crash and heavy tinkle of the storm

i let myself see some great fear and panic regarding death

stay away from me and mine!

impossible, but thats what i cry for

i feel it in my chest like the impact of a fist

in these moments

i am clinging to this life and the tangible forms of my beloved ones

and all that is perceived by my senses

i am cultivating dreams and ideas and cherishing hope for the future

i am nurturing relationships and gardens and love

i am struggling through the quagmire of some days and challenges

i am pursuing myself in the interest of growth and understanding

i want to be here and sit and knit and contemplate

i am afraid of the unknown yet

i do have faith in a greater force

but i simply don’t know what comes after

i haven’t been there yet or i don’t remember

and as Lily said to me on wondering what it is like to die

“…then i won’t know, because i’ll be gone and it won’t matter”

how about me?

how about you?

**

{later on this day i passed two severe car accidents on my trip to town

and i was given a worldly reflection of my thoughts}

blessings to those who are grieving right now

**

keep cool for after school {bircher muesli}

 

 

Bircher Muesli Recipe and story

when i was a small girl

we lived in the West Australian wheatbelt

summer days frequently kissing blue skies and 40~celcius

after school the seemingly endless burnt orange gravel drive

shimmered and baked me

chasing after bigger faster sisters on bicycles

anxious in the hot vast expanse of golden crisped paddocks

i don’t remember a single tree on that km stretch to the house paddock

was there shade along the way?

and then i was there

pushing through the small side gate

often teary often late

there was our sturdy brick home with deep shaded verandahs

and my calm mama waiting in the cool dim kitchen with

hugs cheerfulness and

bircher muesli

sweet tart chilled textured cooling surprising delicious

was it so tasty because it was made with genuine swiss hands

and the apple grated with an authentic swiss bircher grater {so i call it}

what secret ingredient did you infuse this refreshing meal with mama?

mine never meets the reputation of my memory

so here i am now

on a meltingly hot day

waiting for my little to come dancing into home again after a long week

and i make bircher muesli

and think of cool kitchens and dark, even cooler pantries

{where i used to sneak crunches of dried pasta or other goods and lat on the cold floor

or draw on the back of door chalkboard}

now i think of

mama love

growing up

sour apples and yoghurt

i am blessed to be using yoghurt from the cows milk provided by yonder dexters

which forms a coveted cream top

thankyou to C for making it

there is an abundance of Bircher Muesli recipes out there in the world

i wouldn’t say mine is traditional as my bircher grater is still in storage and i chopped the apple instead…

you know i’m kidding right?

so I won’t do more than list the ingredients i used this particular time

2 handfuls organic unstabilised rolled oats

2 oranges squeezed over oats fresh from orchard

2 cups natural yoghurt from neighbours cows

1 handful dessicated coconut

2 tablespoons unhulled tahini

2 tablespoons maple syrup

2 tablespoons sesame seeds

1 small handful raisins

1 handful chopped almonds

1 tspn cinnamon powder

1 green apple from farmers market

1 green pear

1 banana from big market

1 handful blueberries

1 handful wild rasberries picked by a neighbour

mix and refridgerate

be inventive be flexible use what you have

the idea is softened oats yoghurt and fruit

i tend to soak the dry goods in the orange juice for a while before i add the yoghurt and fruit section

some people soak the oats overnight in the fruit juice til morn

for me that becomes a super digestible breakfast but kind of slimy and sticky, what do you think?

i forgot to add chia seeds, that might be nice

my mama used to put in stone fruits and grapes in later summer

and i hear tell she used some condensed milk to sweeten it…

is that true? did i forget any other special ingredient mamala?

how do you make this dish?

what would you add?

what was waiting for you when you got home on hot days?

what do you make for your kidlets now?

**peace be with you and your bellies**

Glimpses of Outdoors

Glimpses of Outdoors

a gallery of outdoor moments from my visit to my family  in Western Australia

outside I love

the wind

and how I almost fly

I am enlivened and refreshed

by breeze from distant seas

rustling leaves and whispering trees

or thrashing branches and lashing stances

outside the space surrenders me

and my smalls are free

running flopping

stomping rolling

watching witnessing

finding

hiding

grace of equine gallops

echoed in shorter limbs

husky love song of long grass

shimmering godly sunsets

moon rise so graceful and silent

birdsong twittering or raucous

all makes me quieter within in wonder

attentive I am to

sky song

star song

goose song

garden song

planting song

digging song

children song

flower song

harvest song

my song

earth song

calling beckoning drawing out into

the springtime song

a great cacophony of lifes vital forces emerging

infectious energy and creativity

cousins make fairy homes in the grevillea

while plants stretch new leaves at the sun

and buds open to the breeze

a new home

 

 

sometimes transition is not easy for me

in birthing or in life

i can feel lost overwhelmed and unsure I can accomplish the task at hand

can i meet what is coming towards me

the immensity of change

in a breath i am very casual about it all

and sometimes it seems i will breeze through it cheerfully and singing

{this time i will apply all precious knowledge and it will be cake}

and in the next breath i am swamped

by emotions anxiety confusion fear

and helplessness may pop up to join the tea party

this lifestyle i embrace and choose wholeheartedly

has one major difficulty

which is presently with me

transition

finding my centre amidst the change of circumstance.

we are having a pause of some months from being on the road

and i am excited to nest and craft and garden and socialise and sing

and be part of our community

but

first i have to get back from my trip west

and then reintergrate family as we reunite with papa after a month apart

and then arrive in Bellingen

and get used to being parked up in the gloriousness of our friends property

and get into the rhythm of school and lunchboxes and bus stops

and get myself reintergrated and adapted to this next chapter

i think i am contracting inwards

and it hurts abit

i feel better when i go for a walk or a swim in the pristine clear Bellinger river

or when i load up the wheelbarrow and do numerous loads of shifting garden debris

or when i am held in my loves embrace

in moments i think i am really here

and then poof

i am not

this transition takes time

one week is not enough to get my head around it

and rediscover who i am and how i interact here now

i feel more ungrounded this moment than when i am actually in motion traveling

somewhere inside i trust i will come in and feel at ease

and centered and present again

somewhere i know the reality of jetlag

and climate shift

and daylight savings

and external influences

and somewhere i know its moving house again

we all know how incredibly trying that task is

once i wrote traveling is like mini moving house every day

yep

and i love it

once i had spilled all my tumultuous anxiety about this phase to a friend she asked

why do you do it to yourself?

i said

i love it

i love the adventure

the stimulation

the expansion

the freedom

the nature

the change

the time together

the discoveries

it’s worth it.

 

 

once someone wise taught me a game to play at stressful times where

i imagine myself into the future

i am asking myself

“so Roselinde, how did you cope with that challenging time?”

and often the qualities i need to embrace are revealed to me

“well, i made sure i ate and slept well, i reminded myself it’s a temporary situation, i tried to maintain my humour, going for walks,

i asked for help and kept on deep breathing and i used my flower essences

 

it is so so pretty here in the valley in spring

the beauty of nature helps

how do you help yourself get through challenging phases?

what helps you transition?

when do you feel centred?